Cynthia Witthoft - The Mortal Fishzilla (2010)

1. Ronnie James Dio is Dead
2. Wild Crazy Lesbians (Pt.1)
3. God Push me to Suicide
4. The Mortal Fishzilla
5. Mechanical Horse
6. Wild Crazy Lesbians (Pt.2)
7. Funny or Die
8. Lucifer in Red Clothes
9. Survivor Sucks
10. Polish Aliens
11. The Grim Sleeper
12. Fuck the Pope in the Face
13. Frida Kahlo Tribute
14. Cosmic Signals (Pts.1 & 2)
15. Pozytywka

For those of you who have no idea of the legacy of Cynthia Witthoft, let me explain. Cynthia and her bandmates are all, from as far as image goes - lesbian feminists who produce very interesting metal music spanning several genres, even if some of it isn’t quite their own. “Iced Earth - 1776, The Enslaved instrumental from ISA, The instrumental from Lamb Of God’s 4th album, and countless more acts of thievery (some of the bands very old and obscure as hell) are just some of the music they’ve renamed, added intro’s and slapped a new name on. There was even an instrumental demo version of Samael’s “Telepath” single, from “Reign Of Light”. Where the hell they got that, I’ll never know.

Yet on this, their 50 something album - The Cynthia’s are seen doing something new. One thing that is noticeable from the start is that this album is 100% pure Cynthia and her bandmates. There’s no stealing attempts here - and I think Cynthia is trying to shed her title of ‘The Thief Woman”.

While not as heavy as some of (what might be their songs?) their songs on the older albums, (Take your pick - there’s plenty of them!) it is certainly refreshing to hear something that isn’t someone else’s, despite the copyright laws in Poland.

Anyway, this album is phenomenal. Not a very old release, as it features the first track “Ronnie James Dio Is Dead”, and features an intro by him on the track and some really awesome progressives, especially in the drum area.

Baskin Robbins albums are pretty much everything this band has ever done, (minus the polish zombies stuff) so expect every track to be different. Of course, this album isn’t very heavy, and I won’t be putting any vocals on these tracks - since, they really don’t warrant vocal touches like older albums have.

I’ll tell it to you like this though - this album is a proggy dream. There is so much experimentation going on (and it all has the same production value, same instruments and all that - no stolen tracks) that it’s mind-boggling. Some parts of this album have a melodic splendor which has to be heard to be believed. The Cynthia’s really put their best efforts into a musical piece, which they are once again, just giving away. As you would expect, so are their other albums completely free, with all the book pages and such, and a bunch of naked and erotic pictures of the band. (who is all females, as I’ve said before)

Of course, this isn’t about free porn. Any idiot can go onto the internet and type in “boobs” and find about a thousand pages of uncensored filth. This is about the music. I’ve heard tracks before from this band which really do sound like the ones on this 2010 album, particularly “The Bird Of Paradise” (Of which many of my vocals have been added onto for my Bootleg Blitzkrieg hobby project) which featured some amazing work, and was done not too long ago, in “2006”.

All of this band’s albums are free, and this one can also be downloaded if you know the sites, and where to get it. Unfortunately, there is no other way. I don’t even believe the Cynthia’s have a website.

Oddly enough, I’ve seen people with physical copies of these albums which I assume were made with booklet printing software and empty cases. Also, not one CD image (Picture of the CD itself) of any of their albums has ever been shown, which leads me to thinking that the physical copies are just burned cd’s with a retail case, that people made because they really like the band which does incredible music, whether or not all of it is theirs, or not.

If anyone knows more information on this, (more than I do) let me know. I’d hate to know that these were being sold, or are being sold for a cash profit when clearly some of the songs this band does are stolen.

Yes, I download albums. But I would not use another band’s music and call it mine, for a PROFIT. I did that for free, as a hobby - to show off vocals and what not. I’d rather you come over to my home and shoot me in the forehead, than to even think about offering someone’s else music as my own and then charging for it. Hobbies are hobbies, free is free, but when it’s not yours - don’t sell it as yours. Very simple, I think.

Back to the album though - this is one of the best I’ve heard from them in a long time. I still think that “The Bird Of Paradise” is way better, which it’s stolen (or maybe not, not sure) intros. ---thegrimtower.blogspot.com

download (mp3 @320 kbs):

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